It happened... AGAIN.
Some highschool in Somewhere, America got mad at a Yee Yee fan, Anthony Burtscher, for wearing one of our damn beautiful Yee Yee hoodies (the original black Yee Yee hoodie to be exact... you know the one)
I want to break down a few things real quick while watching this video:
- The reporter: First off, let's salute the reporter who actually called the gun on our friend's shirt a "shotgun." This may seem like a no-brainer for all you country folk out there but just last week we found out that Joe Biden thinks there's a gun called an AR-14 (numbers are hard, Joe). This reporter was able to do what half of Washington D.C. cannot do - properly identify a gun.
- What a hairstyle: The man-bun may be known as a city boy haircut but our boy, Anthony, could care less what stupid tradition says. He wanted a man bun and he got one. The great thing about a man bun is that it's really just the beginning steps to a mullet. And mullets are country. We'll allow it.
Consistency is key: "Since Anthony Burtscher got this sweatshirt 2 months ago, he's worn it at least once or twice a week to Bedford High School" ...Come on Anthony, those are rookie numbers. We've got to pump those up.
Comedian???: "Burtscher said that a comedian who does redneck impressions made the hoodie." ...OUCH, WTOL-11, we're giving you content to fill your crappy news cycle and you can't even throw in a plug for the legend, Earl Dibbles Jr.? And calling him a comedian is an understatement. He is a gentleman and a country boy scholar.
- I am dumb: Anthony just used the word "heinous" in a sentence. I had to actually pause the video and look up the definition to make sure he used it in the correct context. He did. We've got a damn walking dictionary over here on our hands. You go, Anthony.
Guess the teacher's name: "The district superintendent said that students can wear clothes with weapons on it so long as there's no type of disruption to class, but since the district can't talk about any student's specific case, it's unclear of whether or not the sweatshirt did cause a disruption."...Wait, wait, wait - if this school's handbook says that students are allowed to wear clothes with weapons on them, then why did Anthony get in trouble? This sounds like the teacher that tattled on him has some bigger issues below the surface. Also, $5 says that her name is Karen.
I want to explain the importance of what this moment means for Yee Yee history. We hear about these types of stories all the time. Some kid tries to wear our gear to his or her school and is told they have to take it off and put it in their locker for the day, turn it inside out or go to the principal's office. 90% will take the high road and take it off. A few more will simply turn it inside out, hiding the beauty and glory of the Yee Yee Apparel logo. And every once in a while, a kid will argue with the teacher and book themselves a one-way ticket to the principal's office where the shirt stays on until an inevitable call to a parent is made. Cooler heads prevail and the kid loses the hard-fought and noble battle.
But, this time....this time was different.
I predict that Anthony knew where this whole thing was headed about the time he began that long waltz down the hallway to the principal's office. He knew there was a chance he was going to face some serious repercussions in there. But, at that moment in time, all he cared about was defending the Yee Yee name. This is really the stuff of legends that we're talking about here, y'all.
In the end, Anthony paid the consequences. He received a 2 day suspension from school for "insubordination" (honestly kinda ups his street cred). And in reality, what teenager wouldn't love a 2 day suspension? It's not long enough to miss any of the cool stuff in school but I'm sure he did skip out on some B.S. pop quiz or test that Karen the teacher was going to give anyways, so it's really a win-win for our Yee Yee hero.
Thank you for your service, Anthony.
P.S. check your mailbox. You've got a Yee Yee package coming your way.